Goodbye 2010

I am truly blessed! 2010 was nice. We got a new puppy in May - Honey Combs! Chad & I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We had a wonderful visit with Kelsey & Brett this past summer - went to Coney Island for the first time with them. Ventured out to Brooklyn for some of the best pizza and italian ice cream in town - Spumoni Gardens! We learned to meditate and have gotten so much out of it! Chad got several websites live.... I settled into the challenge of taking care of two properties instead of one! We've organized our debt to be gone in just a few short years! I've come into contact with some amazing people/organizations/blogs/networking channels this past year! This list is just too long to name everyone and thing, but I will name a few: new Mary friend connections, Synchronicity blog, "Her Future" friends, The SynchroProject.Org, Jim Fargiano.......etc! We ended the new year with a new TV and new furniture that was long overdue.

I feel very confident that 2011 is going to be great! It just keeps getting better and better and through it all I have my amazing synchronicities and signs. My world is opening and the holes in my heart are being filled!

I KNOW my sister is still with me and I am so grateful for all the signs! I love my life and am grateful for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE!

"I don't have all that I want, but I have more than I need"

Seahorses ~Seahorses~ Seahorses

If you knew Mary, you knew she loved the Seahorse!

I met a new friend through my work a year ago. Danielle! We connected instantly by the common interest in the 11:11 signs. When she gave me her e-mail address my jaw almost dropped. I knew we were meant to be friends. Her e-mail was seahorse@...com! I told her my sister looooved Seahorses. (I was a little amazed because I've never met anyone else who loved seahorses.) There are some things about her that remind me of Mary, she also loves loves loves animals like Mary did. She is beautiful and short like Mary too :)! Anyway, we became instant friends, but don't get to hang out or even talk very much due to life's busy demands. I saw her before Christmas and she brought me this beautiful Seahorse Christmas ornament. I couldn't believe she remembered!!! We hadn't talked about the Seahorse since the first day we met. She said she saw this and had to get it for me. Tears came to her eyes. Somehow my friend Danielle and I are connected! I am so blessed to have the sweet souls brought into my life. I know its not a coincidence at all... none of it is!

I sent a picture of this seahorse ornament to Kelsey and this is what she text back to me:

"i love the seahorse!!! its soooo prettty!!

and mom would have probably spazzzed over it ;)!"

Mary is with us... she shows me all the time! Here is a Seahorse I saw from SouthStreet Seaport in NYC :


Here on the Boardwalk at Jones Beach on Long Island:

Thank you Danielle for remembering our Seahorse! You are a friend sent from above......

Mary Cardinal Christmas

It's the day after Christmas, with Mary in our hearts.

Little brother David brings a gift to her grave!

Sorry you couldn't see her kids David.... it was good you tried! That's what counts.

As he was placing the little cardinals on her stone, I had a couple cardinal visits on my own:

Can you see the female in the middle of the tree?

Sweet Christmas 2010

Can you see the orb with us on Christmas?

Hmmmm, wonder who it could be :)~

I just love this sugar cookie "Merry Christmas"

~ I know Mary would too...

That is why I insisted to blog it. For my Mary!

Isn't this sweet? Mary's friend Laurie has Mary in her tree surrounded

by the beautiful cardinals and dove above her head!

M-A-R-Y - Goooooo Mary!

Dancin' ~ Cheerin'
Mary did it all!

I remember Mary's freshman year, she was so torn between trying out for dance team (following in my footsteps) or cheerleading!

Well, she ended up doing both throughout her HS years! She tried the dance team thing her sophomore year (along with bleach blonde hair - which we fixed pretty quick and laughed about it years later).

Dance team just didn't seem right, soooo, she Cheerleaded into her Senior year.

She was so good! She flipped and flopped and tumbled and jumped and yelled and smiled and cheered her little heart out.... she was right at home!

Mary was a natural born cheerleader......
her energy, smile and enthusiasm was so contagious!

She looks like a little cardinal in these pictures. Pretty ironic isn't it?

Cardinal Explosion

A Cardinal Holiday display made with thoughts of me from my dear friend
Elizabeth in San Antonio. Memories we have from so long ago,
a connection we have all the way to the soul!
What a beautiful gift ~ A cardinal explosion just for me!
Elizabeth's thoughtfulness brought a smile straight from my heart
and brightened my day!
So much love.......

Happy Birthday Dad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

You may no longer be alive on earth,
but you are always alive in my Heart!
I am who I am today because of you!

I love you!

Me

A friend had this picture and poem on her FB wall & I had to borrow it....

it just reminded me sooooo much of ME!

Wow ~ Thanks S. St. Claire....

I live my life through peace.
I live my life allowing wisdom to dictate my thoughts.
I live my life in control of my emotions and actions.
I live my life through balance and order.
I live my life through knowing that I control my positive and negative outcomes.
I live through knowing I am a divine being in control of my imagination.
I live my life through sacrifice and devotion, allowing God to use me as a vessel.
I live my life through life-giving words and loving relationships.

ME!

Morning Signs

I didn't know it was going to be a wonderful day when I woke up. But the signs began when I took my pup out for her morning walk at 6 a.m.

Signs, Signs, signs... You are with me!

I heard you in the dark of the morning my sweet little cardinal friends and again at the exit of my community as I left for work!

I feel you!

I started my iPod to play music... Without me choosing , it played on it's own random sequence a song for Brett (Journey), a song for Mary (PDiddy), a song for Chad and I (Whitney) & a song for Kelsey (Rihanna)!

I hear you!!!

I arrive above ground from my subway journey to work this morning to find a flock of at least two dozen pigeons flying above my head in a beautiful sequence. They flew like this 3 times and landed on the art on the wall of my building!

I see you!

Kind of amazing....I thought of two people this morning I hadn't heard from in awhile and got a post on my FB wall from one & a friend request from the other!!!

"We can count on the presence which makes itself known through feelings, dreams and synchronicities. Intuition is a natural state of consciousness in which our small isolated mind opens to the big mind of the divine"

~Joan Borysenko

CrEaTiVe KeLsEy CoLLaGe

Purple Braces.....Peace Symbol, Tiedye by PeaceDog, TOMS (shoes), lips, running~Kelsey McCraw, "Whatever", Lola Star from Coney Island, NYC, Moose picture "Keep out its kind of moosey in here", Ed Hardy, Juicy Couture, MONSTER (drink), Boston Terrier, Cool Blue Dog, Beast, Possibilities, Believe, Trust In, "With God, all things are possible", Love.....

My Sister's Keeper

"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not”

I saw this movie today and cried through half of it. It was a beautiful movie about a family's love and struggles with a sick child. Anna, the sister of Kate who is sick with leukemia is bound by love to help her sister. The whole family is effected, but the love that they have for each other prevails. Their bond is a beautiful example of unconditional LOVE!

I related with what Anna said at the end of the movie about her sister Kate:

"Once upon a time, I thought I was put on this earth to save my sister. In the end, I couldn't do it. I realize now, that wasn't the point. The point was, I had a sister. She was fantastic! One day I'm sure I'll see her again. But until then, my relationship continues..... "

Thanksgiving.... 2003 with Mary

I was looking through some pictures this morning and came across these....
this was a nice Thanksgiving now that I look back, because it was
the last Thanksgiving I spent with Mary and the kids in Texas!

Kelsey & Brett are just soooo fun & funny!!! Always have been, always will be!

Can you see him squatting in the background behind Grandma Sara?

Nice Family Picture....

Kelsey's Gratitude ~ Bretts Love

KELSEY
The day before Thanksgiving, I asked niece Kelsey to start thinking about a list of 5 things she is most grateful or thankful for. Her response was, "That's it? Can I expand on that?"......
Once again, mama Mary's kids melt my heart!

Thanksgiving Day, Kelsey calls me up and says "Hey Aunt Jeni! I've got 40 things so far on my gratitude list! I could keep going, but it would take days to finish. LOL.... My grateful lil niece! How did she turn out so smart, so loving, so sweet, so funny...?? Oh yeah, she's my sisters kid!!

Here are the first 40 items of love in Kelsey's heart (she said it was absolutely in no way any special order!):

1. Being a Christian 2. Family (this includes everyone!) 3. Friends 4. Relationship with Jesus 5. Home 6. Food 7. Own Room 8. Grandparents 9. Aunt Jeni & Uncle Chad 10.Wardrobe 11. shoes 12. Good Grades 13. School 14. track 15. Nice people 16. Mean People 17. Challenges I've overcome 18. Lady Gaga 19. Drake 20. nail polish 21. good health 22. ipod's 23. music 24. TV 25. YouTube 26. Waterparks 27. Anything that entertains Kelsey 28. Jewish people ~ bagels 29. Eco Friendly People 30. Beaches 31. brother 32. Food 33. FAMILY (again) 34. Italian food 35. Great actors 36. dogs nice to me 37. counselor 38. People who invented anklets 39. People who invented scarves 40. Jesus Loving Me

BRETT
I most certainly don't want to leave Brett out ~ I never could. I speak to him often too, but alot of times he's busy playing. He did call me the other day just to say: "Hi Aunt Jeni, I wanted to talk to you because its been a while and wanted to see how you are doing and say I love you. Oh and by the way, I got all A's on my report card again" hehe.... so, of course I go on to congratulate him and tell him how proud I am of him. Then comes the question I believe he was waiting for: "So Brett... what can we get you to reward you for your wonderful grades?" MADDEN 11 for XBOX it is :)

Texas Cardinal

Everything is big in Texas ~ even the Cardinals!

Neice Kelsey sent me this picture..... xoxo

Lil Beastie(s)

Kelsey has given herself a new nickname & I love it! We text each other all the time and just recently at the end of each text I get: How technoly cute is that? Naturally, the nickname Lil Beastie has transferred over to our lil pup Honey. I asked Kelsey if that was okay to share the nickname and she laughed and said of course. Kelsey and Honey bonded pretty tight this summer, so the nickname for both doesn't surprise me at all. They might even be BFF!

Here are a couple pictures of my two Lil Beasties.....

Synchro Quote

"Synchronistic events occur when you are committed to taking extremely good care of yourself. A divine force rallies behind you to support your decisions" ~ Cheryl Richardson

Another Sweet Surprise

The same day I had a feeling someone was going to find me in search of Mary I had not one, but two! A couple hours after I heard from Christie, I got a friend request on Facebook from Bonnie D. in search of Mary! Bonnie met Mary when she was 13 and was friends with her throughout high school until their lives took different paths. Bonnie didn't know Mary had passed and was sad to hear the news. Bonnie had some wonderful memories to share with me and you:

"She was such an amazing, beautiful person with a very contagious smile and laugh and just radiated with energy. I met Mary when I was about 13 and we just clicked.....I know she loved her sisters more than anything and she talked about you all the time all good things & funny things and adored you....She does live on! She'll always hold a special place in my heart. I would love to see her program....."

"Hi Jeni....I got it! It was so beautifully pieced together. It is really a true reflection of the beautiful Mary I knew so long ago. I am still shocked and deeply saddened but so grateful I had the opportunity to know her. Her smile and laugh will stay with me forever! She touched the lives of many and was such an inspiration to all those around her to get fit and get moving! A flood of memories came to me when I saw her program. I think she would be so proud of you how graciously you've carried on and it's almost as if I can hear voice saying "Don't cry Jeni" " Don't be sad" I know she never believed in self-pity she was so strong and courageous and had just an admirable zest for life and her eye on her next challenge which always had to do with running faster or longer or further..

I love your spirit it reminds me so much of her! Please use this for your blog and I'll share with friends that knew her that may not know.

She will always be remembered! I loved her dearly!! : ) "

Lots of love,
Bonnie

These memories come straight from the heart. I can feel the love in the words. Mary was an angel on earth and the stories are proof again and again to me. If you think of Mary and a smile spreads across your face, know that she is there with you through God's grace. Blessings to you
in all that you do!

Loving Mary Forever

Thoughts become Things... Christie appears!

Saturday afternoon I had a thought, "I haven't had a Mary friend reach out to me in a while!" ~ then I had a feeling that I would hear from someone soon.....

Soon it was! Less than an hour later! Christie, also known as "Chris Coss" to Mary and the kids. Mary and Christie became the best of friends while Mary was a teacher and swim coach in Nederland. Mary was a positive influence in Christie's life and left many wonderful memories. Memories she has been happy to share with me and now with you. Together we have been able to reflect on how much she meant to both of us because of who she was ~ a beautiful soul on earth.

I'd like to share some Christie's words (& pictures) here in my Mary "Memories to Cherish":

"....I think of my many memories with Mary "Coach" I can't help myself but to cry still to this day....how full of life and amazingly beautiful she really was as a person...a blessing to me and everyone else..."

"....she was helping people, probably teaching overweight women how to get a hold of their lives and eat healthy/workout. She probably helped people who were having a bad day or talked to the outcast...that was the Mary I knew and I know that she would do that no matter what. "

"....Mary (Coach), Mary M., and I we were all best friends -they were my world in Nederland."

"...overall I feel at peace knowing that she is still alive in all of our hearts.....Sometimes I will be doing something like bathing my kids and a memory out of the blue will come and I won't be able to stop thinking about it or a lot of times when we travel to different places i think of her and feel that she is with us seeing the world."

"....I loved to see the pictures of Kelsey and Brett while getting little updates... Mary would be so proud of them... they are both turning into wonderful young adults...That girl is something else. I would love to somehow read her book she wrote "Life after Leaving" I am not sure if I could or if there are any more but it would be neat. I am so proud of her and Brett too they seem to be doing so well."
Keep Blogging and stay in touch
Christie

I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to have these memories shared with me! Thank you for caring enough to share ~ I know Mary is with us all ~ all of us who love her..... you all are the reason I have this blog.

LOVING MARY FOREVER

Mary Visits Jim Fargiano

The Spoken Words of Spirit: The Spoken Words of Spirit--November 12, 2010:
(click on the link above to read the whole post)

"Betrayal is often misunderstood. It comes from distrust. Frequently, the distrust we speak of is from your own actions. While this might mak..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary made a visit to Jim and he mentioned it in his comments to me. Mary likes Jim :)!.

Here is Jim's comment he closed the post with:

Jeni, thank you so much. Your sister gave me an image of herself with folded angel wings on her. She said she needs to work on removing the "devil horns" before she can open them, and then broke out into a great laugh.

11-11-07

Today, 11-11 three years ago...

I saw you - I hugged you - I cherished you.....

It was early in the morning and you were just passing through, headed home from a hell with high hopes to put it all behind you and start anew!

I was there for you Mary! I saw you - I hugged you and believed in you!

Just passing through on your way home.... I was just a stop, a hug, a kiss and a lot of cheer!

I believed in you Mary! I know you knew....

What I didn't know was that day (11-11-07) was going to be our last hug and kiss. If I knew that - then let you go is not something I would do!

This day 3 years ago - I put in my heart to cherish: your hug, your kiss, that beautiful smile and the twinkle of yellow your green eyes shone. The look of hope was strong - despite the pain you had just endured! I believed in you...
Don't you worry my Mary - I still do!

Your love and energy melted my heart everytime sweet sister!

I just miss Y♡U! ✰◦.¸¸ღ.◦°˚*◦.¸¸.◦☼°˚ˆ*⋄∗∞Mary!

Words from Jim Fargiano

Every night I read Jim Fargianos "Spoken Words of Spirit" he posts for that day. But first I read his closing comments on the day before, thanking everyone for their comments and sometimes adding a personal note. It is so nice how he does that.

Well, his comment from the post the day before (the one I posted on my blog yesterday - 11/4/10), was directed at me! What a special gift - these words to me:

Jim Fargiano said...
Thank you Jeni. I think I have a pretty good idea about Mary. In her words, she is "cute, sassy, sexy and a lot of funny."

The Spoken Words of Spirit: Jim Fargiano Blog

The Spoken Words of Spirit: The Spoken Words of Spirit--November 4, 2010:
(Click on sentence above to read link to the blogpost)
"No harm can come to you when you learn to view every event in you life in a positive way. Even those things that may seem to be harsh lesson..."

I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did ~ amazing words!

My World

Everywhere I go
Everything I see
I'm never alone Mary
Your always with me!

In my heart you live
Through my eyes you see
My world is your world
Together you and me!

Affirmation to love

At this very moment,

The Universe is trying to manifest miracles

Through your visions, intuitions, and longings.

Imagine that your inclines

Are God’s whispers to your heart.

The same God that gave you the idea,

Will give you the means and support

To see it through.

The world is being transformed

Through people like you,

Who love themselves enough

To trust their inner guidance,

And relax enough

To let the Universe take care of the means.

~by Andrew Cohen(found through Lynn Robinson's blog)

Meditation Synchronicites

My desire to learn to meditate has been strong for a few years now. I believe through meditation clarity will come and a constant peace will live in my heart and soul. Answers will come with this....

Chad and I are finally doing it! We searched and searched and finally a Yogi master was brought to us through the people, places and things in my life these days ~ My massage therapist who had taken a 5 year leave from teaching Yoga and Meditation has decided it was time to teach again.

They say, "When the student is ready, the Teacher(s) appear!"

6 weeks of classes - once a week for one hour. How perfect for us beginners!

We have both been getting alot out of it and are excited to continue on.... the Journey has just begun.

Some synchronicites have come with this new path of enlightenment we've been lead to. Just the other day after 15 minutes of meditating, I told Chad that I thought I should have a pad of paper and pen with me when I meditate. I have been having visions and feel like I should write them as I'm in this meditative state, to learn. A few hours later a close friend of mine from Texas emailed me and asked me if I've ever thought of communicating to my sister through writing. I was stunned that she sent that to me just as I had thought about it only hours ago. Later that evening I was checking my e-mail and received an automated note from a newsletter I signed up for a year ago - 11:11 Group. Most of them I glance at and just delete because they are a little "out there" for me.

BUT, EVERY NOW AND AGAIN there is one that just speaks to me! Well, this day is one of those.... Amazing enough, the topic of this days newsletter was: "Meditation and Writing"!!

I believe my question of whether or not I should write as I meditate was answered.....

Life is just amazing these days. Kind of hard to believe sometimes!

I'm not looking for these signs, I am only noticing them!

Loving Life and Living it to the fullest ~ Keeping loved ones here and there close in heart and mind! Remembering its a Journey, not a race. Life is learning.....

LIVE LIFE - HAVE FUN!

Great Quote

"Once you go through something you think will kill you and it doesn't, every day is like a present" ~ Elissa B. Terris

Midnight Cardinal Calls

"A Call is heard and answered from a little Lavender Pad"....

I have a small lavender spiral pad I keep tucked in a corner of the built in desk I have in my kitchen. It's my Mary pad. I write sweet notes to her as thoughts come to me. Just little notes of love. I've been doing it pretty much since she passed away, not giving it much thought. I believe she see's it.

I'm writing about this now because last night I wrote a love note in it to Mary saying, "Love that my Robins are Back ~ You hear me don't you?!" After writing that, I had to take my pup out for one last grass visit. As I was out my door, I heard the familiar sound of the cardinal chirp chirp chirp out back. I listened very closely because Chad was telling me the other night he heard the squeak of bats. BATS?! yup, I guess... we even saw something that night fly erradically out of the tree. Well, a sqeak and a chirp can sound very familiar to me. I listened and determined it was definetly chirps. Several chirps if I heard correctly. I couldn't believe my ears. It was after midnight and birds DO sleep at night. I was so confused, thinking that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I decided to take the pup out front instead. The chirps got louder and it sounded like several of them were up in the trees all around me. They were chirping away. Even my pup Honey stopped her sniffing and looked up above her to just listen. I felt a peace and calm come over me... I feel like I am being heard.

Is it possible that this flock of cardinals was sent to me as a sign?!

My Robins

My Robins came back!!Amazing is all I have to say! As I've been wondering where all my birds have gone this year (except my loyal cardinal)....they are appearing to me as I've wished! Except my Robin. Last year there were Robin's everywhere around me. This year none. Well, there was always one every now and then, but nothing at all like the year before.

You know how you just know when something is out of the ordinary or there for just you?! That is how I felt when the birds began to appear. I've mentioned this before ~ I've lived in the same place for over 7 years now and have always been perceptive, so when the birds began to appear I slowly knew!

I went out to walk the dog this morning and as usual, my thoughts open up and I start to ask inside my head, "where are you Mary?" "where are you?"......

ALL OF A SUDDEN, birds were all around me. I'm not kidding! In the trees, on the fence, in the grass, at the top of the roof tips, several of them! I must have seen over 2 dozen Robins! Flying in my path, up above my head, surrounding me and my pup!

A most wonderful feeling came over me, I was surrounded by LOVE!

How blessed am I to be comforted from those I love who come from above?!

The Birds

I have been thinking, "Where have all my exotic, fun birds gone?"

Last year I had: red winged black birds, red headed house finch's, blue jays, mockingbirds, orioles, morning doves, ROBINS and of course the cardinals, just to name a few. Actually, the Robins were EVERYWHERE. Every day I would come home they would either be racing me from the entrance of my community to the section that I live and most days they were sitting at the tip top of my roof waiting for me. I would walk around the walking trail and they were everywhere for me to see. (Even at the tea room in Stony Brook that I went to to talk about catering for my wedding shower ~ there was a Robin holding a parking spot for us and at the same time we pulled into the spot, the clock was 11:11!)

Because I hadn't seen my plether of birds this year, it made me wonder, "Were they here for me when I was planning my wedding ~ taking my mind off the grief of just losing my sister?" "Why aren't they here this year?" "Seriously, where did they go?" They weren't here the years before. Only after we decided to get married did they all start to appear. (Except the cardinal of course - they have been here since THE DAY Mary died.) I was thinking about this all night last night.

THEN.... as I finished blogging my last post I look out my window and see the cutest little exotic looking bird along with a female cardinal on my patio. It looked like a mini version of the Robin, but the colors were deeper and there was a white patch under the belly!

I tried to take a picture, but my camera's flash ruined it and it flew away..... it's out there in the bushes, but I can't get a picture doggoneit!! I'm going to look it up and find a picture. I have to post it. (It's a towhee bird)

Mary my lil cardinal brought it to me! Truly Amazing......

As Mike Dooley from "infinite possibilities" says:

THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS ~ CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS WISELY!

P.S. I was just about to push "publish post" when all of a sudden I heard a loud commotion outside my window. the largest most beautiful Blue Jay was was sitting in my tree staring into my window looking at me! I am being heard... what a beautiful thing!

The World I see

I was thinking last night, about how much my world has changed since my sister died. I have become more aware of the world around me. I have always been very perseptive and had a sixth kind of sense, but now its as if something has been turned on. There's a deep connection between the universe and me. Since then, I have been yearning to learn more and more about all the signs that have been appearing to me. Cardinals, birds, blue orbs, clock times, synchronicities, spirituality etc........ It's a whole new world I see!

I miss my sister more than words can say. Sometimes I have to fight back a pool of tears and negative self destructive thoughts like "I could have done this or I should have done that". Then its as if she is right there with me ~ I get this comforting feeling that there was nothing I could do and she is where she is supposed to be.

I've decided to explore the world of meditation and since then, my world has expanded even more. I believe everything happens for a reason and we are not alone!

We do have angels....and our loved ones who've gone before us are always with us.

My heart, mind and eyes are open! We are all connected I see and if you are reading this, know that it was meant to be!

Kelsey updates....

HJ Homecoming day 10-8-10! Kelsey got her 1st mum

- sent with love all the way from NY......
Well, actually we just called the local florist and ordered it.
Instructions were:
"This is a mum for a very special neice! I want it to stand out and sparkle like she does!"



In the picture below is Kelsey in her '80's garb for school -
neon colors, shirt off the shoulder and flashdance pose!

I know Mary is soooo proud!