True Happiness

True happiness occurs when all that we are, all that we do and all that we feel are in Harmony!

It's an inside out job! ~Jeni

A Very Special Jacket

It all began with this!!
This is Mary's jacket she loved so much, I had it made into my Ring Bearer Pillow for my wedding. It is one of the most precious things I own. Peices from her sleeves were made into straps to be wrapped around each flower bouquet (mine, our sister Lisa's & her daughter Kelsey's). Her son Brett was the one who got to carry it down the aisle for us. Mary & Brett together. We gave a button to our brother and a small strap to our mom to have, hold & cherish. Mary was with us in more ways than one August 6, 2009!!

Something to think about....

It's better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. --James Thurber

Listening to others may be new to us, but we have so much to gain. Others may have learned ways to solve problems we can't figure out. We may think our lives are unique, only to discover others have had the same experiences. There is so much insight, wisdom, and love to share. Now that we're stronger, we can admit we need help, and accept that help with a joyful heart. Today let me have the courage to listen to those people whom I respect.

Kenny Chesney songs + Mary = Loving Memories

Oh how Mary loved her Kenny Chesney!

Back in December 2004 when I flew to Beaumont to be with Mary and the kids during a tough time, she played her Kenny Chesney CD over & over for me, explaining to me what she got out of each song. She loved so many of his songs and related alot of her life to them. Oh how I wish I knew exactly what CD that was or exactly what she said about those songs. I do remember that day though. Driving with her in her lil white Hyundai Santa Fe (such a cute lil SUV that fit her personality perfectly), we were headed from Beaumont to Houston to meet David at BW3's. I was just along for the ride, enjoying every minute with my sister. It was a beautiful day that was about to be more beautiful with the 3 of us together with Kelsey & Brett!

Our brother David just texted me:

"Kenny Chesney songs 10-4-3 on CD the road and the Radio in that order, watch how Mary Combs speaks to u, love u sis".

I was so confused, I text back :

"What cd? "the road"?"

David text back:

"The road and the radio sis. Mary knew it 10-4-3 in that order sis. Figure it out. Love u".

Sounds like my mystery I mentioned above is about to be answered but my brother has given me a puzzle to figure out, so that is what I'm going to do.

Please let me know if you have a clue.....

Flowers to Share

Thursday morning as I walked into my office, a sweet resident of mine was carrying these beautiful flowers to me. She said she had just received them, but had to leave early for the weekend ~ she thought I would appreciate them!

That I did, along with all the people I see...

I took a special note of my attitude that day and realized I had a smile on my face a few more times than usual. I'd have to say, these pretty, sweet smelling roses made my day!

~Thank you Beth!

Nice Quote

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

- w.t. Purkiser

Travels with Dad

Good times traveling...

Some of our best memories are the summers we traveled with our dad! This picture above is a classic. Bob's Big Boy! That was a classic diner we would always end up at. Dad loved the Chili mac and we loved the big statue of Bob's Big Boy. It was a sad day when we learned they stopped making chili mac. I later made the recipe myself with Ranch Style Beans & maccaroni noodles. mmmmm - I make it with memories of you dad.... of course, I can only get the beans in Texas. Mary used to mail cans of them to me here in NY. David later did the same.

Keeping the chili mac alive!











Gotta love the traveling in the bug! Lots of side trips traveling from Texas to Illinois, like the picture to the left of us in Missouri at the famous arch!



Good times ~ Memories to Cherish!

Neice Kelsey & Me

I was about to go to bed, but realized that I had someone very special to blog about. My dear neice Kelsey ~ Mary's lil legacy!

I had such a wonderful conversation with her last night, we spoke for 1 hour & 42 minutes.... We spent half that time on the internet together, cruising through websites like Abercrombie Fitch, Coach, Ed Hardy, Victoria Secrets and Dillards. We were talking about what we liked & didn't like. Laughing at stuff that was "ridiculous".... Fun! Then she said out of the blue, "this is like your my best friend". My heart swelled up with love and felt a warmth of happiness. Just like her mommy. She really is becoming my best lil friend.

Then, tonight as I was headed to Chili's to pick up my "to go order", I was thinking about Kelsey and making mental notes of potential plans for next summer. As if she felt my thoughts, she called me up to say Hi (& tell me the word of the day - she's been working on her vocabulary alot & shares new words with me). She was doing her homework & said she was just thinking about me so she decided to call. She brought a huge smile to my face, the kind that warms you to the bones. I told her my thoughts of next summers trip to NY. She loved the idea of taking a trip to Florida ~ Uncle Chad, Brett, Kelsey & I! I didn't tell her where in Florida, but as if it was meant to be, she said, "I really hope we can go to Clearwater Beach because the last time she went to Florida with her mommy they didn't make it there... only Tampa Beach".... What a surprise ~ that is the Beach I was planning to take her to. I didn't know that she wanted to go there & she didn't know that's where I wanted to go too. Crazy how that turns out.

Looks like we were on the same wave! Looks like a trip to Florida it will be!

I am so blessed to have my neice Kelsey and adore her with all my heart. The more I get to know her, the more I see a combination of Mary & me!

BTW: the word of the day is:

churl·ish
Pronunciation: \ˈchər-lish\
Function: adjective
Date: before 12th century
1 : of, resembling, or characteristic of a churl : vulgar
2 : marked by a lack of civility or graciousness : surly
3 : difficult to work with or deal with : intractable

Young Sisters

I like this picture of Mary & Me........ it shows how Mary was always by my side even when she was little! This was just the beginning.

I could always count on Mary. My sister, my friend!!

Another good quote

Each spiritual journey begins with a step forward—the moment when you realize that there's more to life than you've been living.
~Vicky Thompson

A Quote

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours!"
~Wayne Dyer

Cardinal Love

I just have to post this because it is just too incredible not to.

Last night I was headed home from work - on the 6:21 train.
I was staring out the window, watching the buildings and trees as I was passing by.
I had MARY on my mind. Just wondering where she was - if she was nearby.
Without speaking, my mind was saying, "Where are you Mary? Where are you Mary? Where are you Mary?"
Then all of a sudden as if my minds question was being answered, a female cardinal flew about 100 feet from my window into a tree not far away. I couldn't believe my eyes! Of course my mind was questioning this little miracle I just witnessed, but I heard a voice inside tell me "Just Believe" - it was me! Stop questioning it. You saw what you saw - Enjoy it!

That is exactly what I have done! Believe! Amazed still, but am enjoying it.

All You Need is Love

When the sky is gray and the mood is dim, when the world all around you seems to spin.
Stop any negative thoughts, focus on the good ~ shift your mind to things you are grateful for.
Close your eyes and focus.... reopen them and see what really matters most.

Smile! Smile! Smile! Even if its a smile with your lips closed. Just do it, there's something healthy about it :o)!

"All you need is Love..."

It's so easy to get into a "funk" - especially when your feeling a little blue, under the weather, bills are high and its one thing after another getting us down. We can easily fall into that negative hole. That negativity only grows. While you're down in the valley, all of a sudden anything sad or blue you feel about - shows up. Like: the people we loved and lost in our lives, the woulda - coulda - shoulda's arrive (thoses should be banned from for life from our thoughts by the way - NOTHING good comes from those!) & then we turn the gray day into a dark and gloomy day.

But its our choice and we can turn the day around. . . . . the simple way to change the day is to start with a SMILE, tuck the negative thoughts away, be done with them today! Think about the people you love, think about the people who love you. Be grateful for the little things you have that some people in this world would die for: your HEALTH, a roof over your head, a job, clothes in the closet, shoes, food in the cubbard, the ability to walk or breath without any help...... hopefully after that you feel some gratitude. See, you have alot to smile about! Take the time, make a gratitude list & put it in a place you can refer back to when you start to feel down. Inside your medicine cabinet or wallet or refrigerator door are good places.

Life is so much more enjoyable when you are happy, so we should do whatever we can to stay that way. We really do have alot to be happy about. Just think about it! Fill your head with Love. "All you need is Love..."

Life is too short to live it miserably ~ ENJOY!

Be grateful for what you have (or had) not for what you don't!! & realize that you may not have all you want, but you have more than you need!
~This is how I have been living and the outcome is HAPPY!

Another Name for Mary

I was asked the other day what a good name for a little girl like "Mary" would be... something to describe the Mary we knew. What a sweet thought. I have so many adjectives that describe Mary, but a name?

hmmmm.....

My first thoughts were STAR (Starla) or ANGEL (Angelina) because that is what she is to me and then I thought of "EMMA" - that was Mary's middle name and although she didn't like it as a kid (who really likes their middle name anyway?), I loved it!

Then I was thinking of SUNNY or SUMMER because Mary was so sunny, loved the beach and she was born in the summer.

HOPE or FAITH are nice - Mary always had both of those qualities.

Of course I thought of Krystal or Nicole because she loved those names a long time ago.

She loved Kenney Chesney, so I wondered if CHESNEY could be a girlie name. he-he... differnt huh?

I don't know... Mary was Mary and she was beautiful and unique. That's when I realized that the name "BELLA" describes her to a tee. Bella is italian or spanish for beautiful.

Mary was beautiful through and through in all that she was ~ inside and out! So Bella is my pick :)! Oh, Marie would fit beautifully as a middle name. hmmm, that's my middle name & we all know how much she loved me.
BELLA MARIE, that is my Mary's new name....

A Deep Thought

All we know is what we know!

What about what we don't know?!

That's what I want to know........

9-9-09

16 years ago today~ I got the most horrible news a daddy's little girl can get!
News that my dad had a massive heart attack and died!
I remember that day like it was yesterday! My whole world around me spun in confusion... It couldn't be true! My dad was only 49 and healthy as a horse!
This was my first real deal with death of someone I loved with all my heart. When that happens a piece of you dies with them.
I never hurt so bad in my entire 24 years of life ! I cried when I was awake and cried in my sleep.... Then eventually I had to find a reason to be happy again!

I realized that I was actually very lucky!

My dad had given me many gifts - love, compassion, the power of forgiveness, wisdom & stregnth! He taught me the qualities in life that really matter.
He taught me that I am unique and can have whatever I want in life as long as I worked hard for it and never gave up! Plus, if it was meant to be than it will be!

To be happy again, I began to focus on those gifts he gave me and I realized that I was lucky to have had my dad for the 24 years I did.... There are a lot of children who have NO dad at all or worse yet, a dad who was cruel and unloving... Leaving scars rather than gifts of love & life!
Yes, I found happiness again by focusing on these things. I Still miss him but know that he is still with me in all that I do and all that I am!

I love you dad!!!

Mary

Isn't she pretty? I've really been missing her alot lately....

Life

Life is strange....
It makes you tough yet beats you down.
It shows you pain yet offers you gratitude.
It fills you with joy and laughter on one hand
and tears of sorrow on the other.
It supplies you with a wealth of knowledge to rule the world
and then throws mysteries of disease and destruction that makes you feel powerless and dumb.

There is LOVE in this world and there is hate ~ now that is the one thing that will always be our own choice that life can't make for us! ~ Jeni

A Movie to See

Chad recorded a movie on cable the other night "The Secret Life of Bees"... it has an incredible cast (Dakota Fanning, Jenifer Hudson, Queen Latifa & Alicia Keys). Chad has had a fascination with bees and beekeeping, so it caught his attention. Then he read what it was about & thought it was definately a "Jen pick"... ~ he was right! It is a beautiful story about mothers and daughters.

I liked it so much that I have decided to add a portion of it to my blog by sharing the last words in the movie as written by the young Lily at the end of the movie:


"I guess I have forgiven myself, although sometimes in the night my dreams will take me back to sadness, so I have to wake up and forgive myself again. But Mary is always there. You feel her at unexpected moments. She will suddenly rise, and when she does, she does not go up into the sky, but further inside of me."


You have to watch it to understand the words above. I give it 5 stars in a feel good movie. I was startled to hear the above words being said... I felt like someone was reading something from my heart. I had to rewind and copy it word for word so I could keep it and share it with you.....

100% Pure Love

Pure, limitless love ~ this is what Mary gave!

When I was with her or when I spoke to her on the phone or when I read letters from her - it was pure love I felt. I know that may sound corny, but its true. If you know what I am talking about, then you are blessed.

I loved the way she loved me because it was mutual.... she was the star in my world. I had pure admiration for her! Mary was a star that would shine wherever she was ~ her eyes had this amazing sparkle and when she smiled, she would light up the whole room.

I loved it when she would laugh - she had a tendancy to open her mouth in a huge smile so wide you could see her gold fillings. I would tease her & tell her to be careful where she laughed like that... someone may try to steal her teeth. She would stop for a minute to think about what I had just said, realize it wasn't a possibility, say "silly Jeni" and then laugh some more.

Mary was the most beautiful person I've ever known! My sister ~

my best friend and biggest fan!

I miss her so much!

People have asked the question: "Is it better to have had love and lost it or to aviod the pain and never had it at all"? I choose to have had it because love does not leave us, it stays with us locked in our hearts and minds for us to share and remember.....

Soulful Peace

"May there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Another Great Quote

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
--Sir Winston Churchill

How many times today will we think or say, "I wish I knew what was going to happen"? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we'll know it too when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We’re given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

If you've read my blog about "Amazing Google Find", you will see why this note from the Universe is so cool.

Mary's friend found me a few days ago by googling for a book he wanted "When Bad things happen to Good People", now I open my e-mail and get this note:

Happy September, Jeni!

When "bad" things happen to "good" people, Jeni, it's often because they want to become even better teachers, guides, and helpers to those precious souls who will one day need them to be their rock.

Plus, today's bad is always tomorrow's boon, no matter who you are, no matter what has happened, and no matter how weak the coffee was.
Tallyho,
The Universe

What an amazing connection! I'm telling you, everyday is a new surprise..... makes me look forward to what is next.

**Just moments ago, I stepped outside at 9: 30 at night and I couldn't believe my ears ~ cardinal chirps were coming from the tree. It lastest a good 5 minutes. I tried to get Chad outside to hear the beautiful sound, but they stopped - the chirps were just for me.

I am constantly being amazed.