Special Bouquet

This is the beautiful Maid of Honor bouquet that my beautiful sister Lisa carried.... Kelsey carried a smaller version as the Jr. Maid of Honor! The soft beige wrap around is a peice of Mary's favorite jacket that she wore.

Each of us had a peice of it.

Mom got a peice to hold & my brother got a button.

Brett carried the ring bearer pillow that was made entirely out of the jacket.

It was special having Mary with each of us on this very special day.

She was there with us in more ways than one!

Angel & Sister = One

I had an angel for a sister and now I have a sister for angel!

How lucky am I?!

I cry sometimes when reality hits ~ that Mary was here & now she's not! I look back & remember her as she was: So full of life and love!

I cry sometimes when I look back at the last few years of her life here on earth and the pain and misery she endured. Then I remember that she doesn't feel that anymore! She is with me sharing her peace, showing her energy in different ways now ~ signs from above. I see them - I see them all!

I know we will be together again someday.

We all will always be together!

Our souls are sister-mates forever & ever ~ Amen!

My own Good Friday

Have you ever had one of those days where it doesn't matter what the weather is like or who is around you ~ you are feeling great physically and spritually?

Well my day like that was Friday 8/28. No particular reason... just full of peace & serenity. I was comfortable down to the core, including my clothes. It was Friday & I wore a black wrap around dress with a thin black wrap around overlay to keep me warm from the chill that was in the grey sky.
Needless to say, I didn't think it was going to start out that way. I DID NOT want to get out of bed! Nope... no having it ~ Chad was trying so hard. I had already snoozed the first train away. Then all of a sudden, as if answering Chad's prayers, a cardinal was outside my window chirpping as loud and fast as she could. I knew it was a "she" because I crawled out of bed to see her. She saw me see her & then flew away. That was it ~ the start to my good Friday!

The weather channel called for storms, but i didn't care, I wore my lil leopard flip flops with hopes to splash in the rain. Oooops ~ I forgot my umbrella! Silly me. It wasn't so bad at the train, but when I came out of the subway up the stairs to my street, I saw it was a steady pour. Oh boy - it was my lucky day.... a lil asian lady was at the top of the stairs selling umbrellas for $5. I got one! Stayed dry all the way to work. I got to my door and pulled my umbrella closed when I saw a resident of my building standing there without an umbrella not sure what to do. I didn't even hesitate ~ I handed her my umbrella & said "Here you go - stay dry"! She was so shocked she didn't know what to say. She tried to say "No, that's okay...". I told her I didn't have one either today & got lucky with my top of the stairs find. She said she couldn't believe I would do this and has never met anyone so kind. That was IT - my day was made!! Her happiness made me happy.

That's what lifes about my friends.... that's what lifes about!

Oh, I checked my E-mail later that day & was surprised by my note from the Universe & Thought for the day, they went with the energy of what I felt that day. Pretty amazing sometimes:

"Last night, Jeni, I was dreaming of you, again.

You were radiant, confident, and light beamed in every direction from the core of your being. Music followed you, angels serenaded you, and everyone was elevated by your presence. Wisdom shown from your eyes. Kindness emanated from your touch. And your power was simply awesome.

You looked, well... pretty much... exactly as you do right now.
Wow,
The Universe "

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.--Joseph Addison

Wedding Orbs

Dancing the night away with the VIP! All together on one floor. There was so much love flowing through the night that even the vendors were saying they felt it! When I say it was a dream, I mean it whole heartedly! Dancing with Kelsey & Brett all night was heavenly - I can remember the happiness I felt like it was yesterday....


I have been receiving pictures each week from different friends or family.... I just got these from my dear friend Kim. Great pictures!!
I knew Mary and my dad were there with us.


In this picture dancing with Kelsey, you can see 3 orbs

(2 above each of our heads and 1 between us)!




There is one in the picture with my mom & sister too!

What a gift ~ I knew we were not alone!

Amazing Google Find

I am blown away right now ~ A friend of Mary's from high school found my blog by accident...

First I'd like to share with you his kind regards:

Hello Jeni,
I went to high school and graduated with Mary. I have relocated back home to San Antonio and came across Memories to Cherish by chance actually. I felt the need to drop you a line and express the sentiment that I am sorry for your loss.......I was unaware that Mary had passed.
My memories of her are fond. I do recall always being able to discern her little frame from everyone else in the school halls because of this energy she carried with her. We would take the time to exchange pleasantries between classes even if was just a "Hi" at times. Coming across this has affected me to say the least. It has been on my mind ever since I found out on my own accord. I praise your courage, and I am touched by what you have created on her behalf......... bless you and your family. … I don't know the circumstances that surround this tragedy, but I do know that I am affected. Spiritually, I can find solace that I am affected for a reason. Thank you once again for creating this and sharing with all of us. I feel fortunate to have gained some insight into your world.

This e-mail made my day!

Now, the amazing part is when I asked him to share how he found me. I will cut and paste his response, (only because it sounds best coming from him):

....The way I came across it was unusual. I was looking for a book called "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" that some friends of mine read for a class in college. I couldn't tell you why I was looking for it, but I had always wanted to read it. There were several hits off of my search. I clicked on several, and one led to another. Then your "Good Things Come from Bad Circumstances" blog title came up. I noticed the picture on the page, but I could not put my finger on the resemblance yet. As I read through the blog, I came to find that it was someone I knew. I was shocked, saddened and comforted.

It is nice to be reminded that Mary is being remembered with fondness. It is my hope to keep her alive in our hearts and minds with beautiful memories here on her blog. "Memories to Cherish".....

Mary was too incredible a person to be forgotten! Mary was courage, inspiration, determination! She gave encouragement and love unconditionally!

Great Quote

"Sorrow and regret look down. Worry looks around.

But Faith and good attitude always look up!"

Rays from Heaven

Have you ever noticed the rays that shine out of the clouds to the earth

when the sun is hidden behind them?
When I was a kid I thought it was God answering peoples prayers....
What a beautiful thought!
As an adult I have made a conscious decision to still believe that ;)!
It may not be literally or physically true but I do believe He answers prayers so why wouldn't I let myself believe those rays are his way of showing us He's there!

The reason I am writing about this is because I saw some beautiful rays shining through the clouds as i was staring out the window of the train this morning on my way to work ~ as fate would have it, I had a peaceful day!

A New Life Sought

Bali way of life..... hmmmm! Sounds peaceful - simple! That is what I am looking for this year! A serene, simple yet productive way of life. I'm aiming to get rid of unnecessary stress in my life. I came across a blog recently on accident and it has peeked my interest. http://www.thebalisideoflife.blogspot.com/. Ever since I read "Eat, Pray, Love", I have had a dream of going to India & Indonesia to find and feel what those two countries represent: Meditation/Prayer & Love/Peace! A deep healing.....
The new blog has given me a glimpse of Bali & it is beautiful!! The pics here in my blog are borrowed from the site!

Lavender which is very healing and boasts positive effects when used is a main focus in my life ~ it started with being the theme of my wedding and proved its reputation right.

Meditation and Simplifying my life will be sought through the different ways out there ~ I will keeep you posted.

" I may not have all that I want but I have more than I need"!

I welcome the simple things in life like my birds of love that are with me every where I go, all my loved ones and the new discoveries through others I am learning and incorporating into my own!

A Little Sadness

I've been just a little sad and down lately... been trying to shake it off! I have such a wonderful husband - there's nothing like marrying your best friend!!

He reminds me that I have had the biggest and longest high in my entire life. 9 months of planning an event of a lifetime and a week and day full of all my loved ones here in NY just for us!

Real life or life as it was before we decided to get married is a struggle getting back to.... it's not happening like a light switch.

I know that this is just the way its supposed to be and I will flow back into life. I think I might be having some Kelsey & Brett withdrawals too....we had them for 9 days and what a memoriable time. Chad is sharing "Charlie the Unicorn" youtube video with everyone ~ thanks Brett :)!!

I've also had more time now in my head and Mary is there. I miss her soooo much! It's hard to believe she was here and now she's not. I know she is here in spirit or with me like bubbles in a bubble bath, but I miss her sweet voice and energy and love she so freely gave. I get lumps in my throat that spill out of my eyes frequently these days. I remind myself that she is still here and in the end we will all be together. Life on earth is so short - so I am trying to enjoy every moment and give and love! I am getting ready for the next venture in life!

I have so much to be grateful for and that is what I am going to focus on...

I chose this picture to put with this blog because it shows the comfort my dear husband is always giving me. I look a little sad in this picture & Chad is there to lift me up.

Rest In Peace

The following scripture was shared with me by a friend of mine I sit on the train with occassionally. I saw her on Tuesday and she told me that her Goddaughter Melissa was one of the young people who died in a tragic car crash a couple weeks ago here in NY. She was only 19. She shared this scripture with me that helped her and for some reason it really hit home. I was able to relate to it regarding my dear Mary. I did some research on the verse (google - of course) and have shared some of the information below. It brought me a moment of peace and hope it can do the same for you.

Isaiah 57:1,2

"The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. "

Why did so-and-so die? Why did God take them away? This is a question which the grieving often ask concerning the death of loved ones. While this passage doesn't answer that question comprehensively it does give us some insight concerning the death of righteous people

For today, this passage means that while injustice is everywhere, and people often turn away from God, there are still a few righteous mixed in there. They suffer injustice undeservingly, but in death, they find relief from the injustice of this world. Thomas Culp (teacher at HarBer) experienced an untimely death and will be missed by many, but this passage is one of hope. Rather than death being a punishment, he is experiencing relief and escape from injustice and evil. And while he will be missed and we should definitely allow ourselves to grieve his loss, we should also be glad to know that he no longer has to deal with the fallenness of our world.

The most incredible compliment

I know the following message is long, but I just have to share the whole e-mail, minus the senders name.... for respect to her privacy! I am only sharing this because it is such an unexpected compliment to receive from over 20 years ago. I cried last Monday as I read it. If I were to die today, knowing that I have touched someones life and made a difference, than I would die a happy soul.

To me, this is what life is all about:

Hi again and congrats on the wedding! You look so happy. Just as I remember you. I meant to respond to your message some time ago but kept getting distracted with daily life stuff.

I had to do a double take on the photo of your niece, Kelsey. She looks so much like Mary about the time she was in my life (a long time ago but seems just like yesterday). Thinking about her has made me think a lot about how important it is to reach out to others and let more people into my heart.

I recently embarked on a journey of self-assessment and while it was quite painful it was well worth the time and effort. I don't know if you had any idea how unhappy my home life was during middle school and high school but it was awful. School was my escape and the place I received positive feedback for my achievements. During my journey I tried to figure out where in my life things changed for me and I finally realized that being on Dance Team was what really made a difference in my life. I went from being completely self-conscious and shy to the much more confident and self-assured person I have become. It is a quite striking physical change as well that mirrors the internal change that occurred. My school photos are so completely different from one year to the next that I almost can't believe it.

While I was figuring all of this out I was encouraged to examine who was in my life at the time and I couldn't put my finger on who exactly might have had something to do with my "transformation." And then it hit me - that person is you! You were my person. I hope that doesn't sound strange or weird but when I stumbled across you on FB it hit me. You were the first person that showed any interest in me for who I was rather than what I could do or achieve.

So, while it has been many years since I have seen you I want to thank you for the smallest and simplest acts of kindness that made more of a difference in my life than you will ever know. If it helps ease your pain any, please realize that you have had a tremendous impact on other people's lives. There are probably more people that you have touched than you will ever know!

Congratulations again on the wedding and happy 40th! I love the painting of the reception - I would love to have one of ours! Best wishes - always.

Thank you for taking the time to read this sweet sweet e-mail I received from my "lil sis" on dance team in High School. She knew Mary, since she was younger than me.

Always Near

This picture may seem distorted to some, but if you look closely at the shape of the discoloring, you will see that it is round ~ like an orb. My cousin took this picture along with many others, but it was only on this picture that this orb appeared.

Mary's siblings..... I know she would have wanted to be in this picture. It reminds me of the picture below:

~I miss you so much Mary~

So Proud

Chad & I had the pleasure to be with Mary's lil legacies starting Friday, July 31st (Mary's B-day) to Sunday, August 9th! We had so much fun... taking the train to the city, riding the subway downtown, rode a boat around the statue of Liberty, took a Taxi to Times Square & spent alot of time in the fun sweet stores. FYI~the Toys R Us in Times Square is very very big - 4 floors. I actually lost Brett & panicked. I got the whole kid patrol on alert (yes, they have that there)... he was just busy playing a video game & didn't hear his phone. We ate pizza so much - they didn't care :). They were a big part of the wedding & they made us so proud. It was so nice bringing our families together. Everyone got along and mixed so beautifully. Everyone loved everyone!

It was so nice having them here with us. Chad & Brett really bonded. Brett is so funny.... at the end of the night at the out of towners dinner he was the center of attention. so fun & so funny. At the wedding, he was a dancing machine. Holey moley. We learned so much about the kids and are so happy for this time. Brett is the sensitive one. I would look at him & it was such a strange feeling, but I felt like I was looking at him through Mary's eyes. I beleive I felt what she felt when she was looking at him. Pure admiration. It brought tears to my eyes more than a couple times. Once again, Brett has left me with a funny memory One of the last nights here, I went to kiss him goodnight & as I was walking away, he said, "Get back here Aunt Jeni - where's my hug?" Oh my goodness, my heart melted.

Kelsey has grown up so much. I almost didn't even recognize her... Amazing what a year will do. She is 13 now & what a change. She is so beautiful. I just love having her by my side. My lil shadow. I accidentally cried (well, tears were rolling out of my eyes without my permission) while her & I were driving alone and she was just looking at me and softly asked what was wrong... I whispered back that this happens sometimes because I miss my sister. I assured her it was normal & I was okay. She smiled sweetly, like she understood and agreed, then raised her hands in the air and said "You have me Aunt Jeni ~ her replacement". Yes I do!!! How lucky am I?!

Heavenly Wedding

I feel like the heavens were as close as they could be to me during my unbelievable day! I was blessed to be surrounded by so much love and beauty..... even the vendors mentioned to me how sweet the energy of the entire night was!

8-6-09

My first blog from my new phone

I love my phone


-- Post From My iPhone

Cardinal Wedding

This picture was the beautiful cake Nancy made for me at my wedding shower..... she added my lil cardinal! This is the lil cardinal still with me on the top of the star jewelry box Mary gave me years ago ~ on top of it says: "You are the Star I look up to"... I used it to hold jewelry for my wedding!

This is the centerpiece Nancy put together outside on her deck where we had the "out-of-towners" dinner the night before our wedding!

This is the memorial table at my wedding with my Grandma's cardinal statue that was passed along to me when my Uncle Ricky passed away last year.